Your Own Hell
by Arctic Banana
Summary: (Spoilers for The Devil's Cartel!) After the events of The Devil's Cartel, both Salem and Rios were left feeling bitter and betrayed by each other. With Rios recovering from a gunshot wound and Salem in prison, they have nothing to do with their time but dwell on the past.


_(Long intro ahead) Like I said before, this story contains heavy spoilers for the events and ending of The Devil's Cartel. It's not like you can't see the plot twists miles before they come while playing this game, but I'm just putting this out here anyway so I don't have people yelling at me for "ruining the game" for them._

_It's to my understanding that Rios has a family. I remember that his girlfriend/__fiancée__'s name is Samantha, but I forget what I was told his daughter's name was. Anyone? I'd like to know for future reference._

_This fanfic is pretty much a result of the reaction I had after playing The Devil's Cartel and my god, it's taken me probably about two weeks to write it. Is it good? I'm not sure, I think it kind of rambles a little, but this was only supposed to be about three pages long (final total is ten) and it seems the more I try to finish editing it so I can publish it, the more I just keep adding to it, so I'm going to just post it now and let you guys decide before I end up writing a novella. Not sure about the ending either...I'd wanted to end it on a different note, but like I said, I've been working on this for more than two weeks already. Also I have literally no idea what genre this is, so I just picked one that seemed to sort of fit._

_I didn't go into the game expecting an amazing story (because let's face it, this is Army of Two we're talking about here), but I didn't go in expecting a story that completely pissed me off either. I really do not like how they handled Salem's character at all, especially since he's my favorite character from the previous games. While I admit Salem could have made a great, albeit tragic, villain if it was handled well, I think the "reveal" could have worked out a lot better than it did if they'd taken the time to make him a little more sympathetic rather than turning him into a complete monster. The way it's presented just makes him seem wildly out of character to me and he just seems more like a dick with a grudge than someone who was damaged emotionally after he accidentally got left behind (and I personally think it was his own damn fault he got left behind since he pretty much ditched Rios first, which makes his excuse even worse). I'm sure there is a good reason why he turned on Rios somewhere in there. I just don't see such a reason presented or explained well._

_Also, Alpha must love dogs just as much as I do. The dog fighting ring almost made me throw up when I saw it since it hit a little too close to home for me (let's just say I once owned a former bait dog; she was the most broken animal I'd ever met) and I stabbed everyone in the vicinity of it to death in the name of every dog that was abused in that room. Leave it to me to take something in an Army of Two game as a personal attack..._

* * *

Rios woke up in the middle of the night and was almost confused about where he was. He was expecting to still be in the hospital, forgetting that he'd just been discharged a day ago and allowed to finish recovering from his wounds at home. The pain meds tended to leave him drugged out of his mind at worst and somewhat confused at best, once to the point where he didn't even recognize his own sister when she visited him in the hospital.

He tried to move into a more comfortable position and realized that his arm was pinned down to the mattress underneath his daughter's weight. She must have snuck in and climbed up next to him while he was asleep. She was getting a little old to be sleeping in her parents' bed, but he wasn't going to complain or wake her and kick her out. He'd missed her while he was in the hospital, since his bitch of a nurse wouldn't let her come in and visit him without throwing a huge tantrum about having kids in the room disturbing him when he should have been resting, and it was quite clear she had missed him too.

He glanced over beside him and found the spot that Samantha had occupied to be empty save for Chester, the terrier mix that served as a therapy dog to him and a companion to his little girl, curled up with his head on her pillow. She must have been downstairs, probably unable to sleep. She hadn't spoken to him since they returned from the hospital except to demand that he retire from his line of work because between him losing his leg and now this, she couldn't handle the thought of nearly losing him again. He had refused her demands when she'd made them many times before, further straining their already rocky relationship by preferring to keep doing the only job he knew how to do in order to provide for them over some mundane desk job, but in the last couple of years he was beginning to see her point.

Ever since losing Alice and Salem (the first time) his morale was beginning to wane, all the shit that happened with Salem and the cartel being the final nail in the coffin. The problem was he didn't know if he could handle civilian life again. Since losing his leg he'd compromised with Samantha by staying out of the heat and directing from the sidelines, but even then he still ended up getting involved somehow. He probably would never have broken his promise if he hadn't found out that Salem was alive and if Alpha and Bravo hadn't tried to ignore him, but he couldn't promise himself that was an isolated event that would never happen again. He was bound to crack and jump back in eventually, and it might as well have been then.

He had hoped he could turn Salem back to their side, or at the very least find out why he'd turned on TWO and placate him somehow, and only got himself shot and others killed for his efforts at redeeming his friend. Sam had been both furious that he'd get involved directly without even telling her what he was doing and horrified at the same time at the thought that he could have died on her. He felt guilty for scaring his family. He also felt angry with Salem, wondering why he felt the only option he had was to do what he'd done. If he had just talked to him he could have helped him get out of the mess he'd somehow found himself in. Alpha and Bravo wouldn't hate him as much as they did, Fiona would still be alive, and they wouldn't have been forcibly separated again, perhaps for the rest of their lives.

Salem had claimed that Rios wasn't there for him when he needed him and that he had abandoned him, an accusation that had hurt to hear Salem make. Rios couldn't help but feel that made him the most ungrateful bastard he'd ever known. He had always been there for him when he needed a friend, even when it inconvenienced him, because that's what friends do- they look out for each other! He'd defended him when Clyde bullied him relentlessly and once even managed to talk him out of a fight with him right in the middle of the SSC breakroom, despite the fact that Clyde was egging him on and clearly trying to start something. He vouched for him whenever anyone claimed he was reckless and irresponsible despite the fact that Rios knew firsthand just how reckless and irresponsible he really was.

What about all the many times he completely dropped what he was doing, even if it was sleeping, to drive over to his apartment in the middle of the night because Salem had called him up piss drunk and he was worried that he would hurt himself if he was alone? What about that time he drowned on a mission in Borneo and Rios refused to stop giving him CPR until he was revived, even after Salem vomited in his mouth and he exhausted himself doing so? What about the summer Salem caught Pontiac fever and Rios spent a week at his house caring for him, even after the illness had finally run its course, just to make sure he was okay? Or when he carried him to the relative safety of a hospital in Shanghai in the middle of a firefight after Salem got knocked out from a fall, or when he fought off a vicious guard dog that tried to maul him despite the threat of being mauled himself, or how he let him live with him for two months because his mom had died and he was too depressed to even get out of bed? Did he somehow manage to forget all of that, or did it all really mean nothing to him now? Salem was his best friend. He was his brother. He of all people should have known that Rios never would have intentionally abandoned him.

He had wanted desperately for Salem to be there with him while he was recovering in the hospital from his injuries. Having him there would have made it slightly less painful when the doctor had told him they were able to save his wounded leg, only for his condition to rapidly grow worse until the same doctor had to break the news to him a mere five hours later that he had contracted necrotizing fasciitis and his leg would have to be amputated in order to save his life. Alpha had been there with him at the time of the diagnosis and Bravo had stopped in after he came out of surgery to check on him, as had a few other friends and colleagues from TWO and his family, but it hadn't been the same. He imagined it would have been better for Salem too. He couldn't imagine how his recovery must have been on his own. Rios had always been there whenever he so much as had an upset stomach and now this time he was absent entirely. It must have been like the seventh level of Hell for him.

During his recovery, all he could think about was that Salem was dead. That's what he'd been told and it's what he continued to believe for several years. Had he known otherwise, Rios would have dragged himself, near-fatal injuries be damned, all the way across the battlefield just to save him. Looking back on it now he wished he had gone back anyway, despite what anyone had told him. He had been delirious from pain and blood loss and the thought to check, just to be certain that he really was dead, had never occurred to him until it was already too late. Instead he spent years mourning a brother who wasn't really dead, only to wish that he had been when he finally found out he was still alive.

He knew Salem previously had a few issues with abandonment, but they'd never resulted in anything of this scale before. His parents always preferred to pass him off to someone else rather than raise him themselves and before he was even old enough to drive a car his father had walked out on him altogether without even saying goodbye and his older brother had killed himself. It had taken years for Salem to even admit this had happened and whenever he brought them up in conversation now, his opinion of them whiplashed between bitter hatred and resentment to childlike fondness and affection like even he wasn't sure how he felt about them anymore. It didn't help that Salem was convinced that his parents had favored his brother over him, despite the fact that he apparently took drugs and was violent, and held it against them both.

His mom was still there, but after having her husband walk out on her and losing one of her sons she became a heavy smoker and emotionally distant and Rios got the feeling that she didn't want to or know how to deal with a kid like Salem. He never called his mother or received any calls from her. He never visited her, not on birthdays, not on holidays, not even just because. All holidays had been spent with Rios and his family since he'd be alone otherwise. As a result, most of Salem's mourning period after his mother's death from lung cancer had been a bipolar mixture of missing her and resenting her. He probably never would have come to terms with his loss and forgiven her if Rios hadn't been there to help get him through it.

Then there was what happened to Alice...he wasn't sure if Salem ever got over that. Salem had always had somewhat of a huge crush on her and she was the only other person besides Rios that he had considered part of his surrogate family. If Rios was unable to be there, Alice was. She came over and made him soup and sat with him during his two-month depression whenever Rios absolutely had to leave the house for an extended period of time for whatever reason. She took him to the hospital when he broke his arm after getting drunk and falling off the porch and was the first person to sign the cast. If Salem and Rios got into a heated argument, she was the one that would defuse the situation and convince Salem to talk to Rios and reconcile afterwards. She even defended him against verbal abuse from Clyde almost as much as Rios had. The loss had hit him hard and the last time Rios had seen Salem he was still recovering from the shock. Unlike what had happened with his mother, Salem didn't want Rios there to help him get over it. He didn't want to get over it. His mind had finally snapped from years of stress and abuse and he instead wanted to pretend that everything was okay. He wouldn't doubt it if Salem were still in denial about it to this day.

Rios shifted his daughter's weight when he realized that his arm had gone numb and carefully, so as not to hurt himself, slid over a little more to give her more room on the bed. He froze when she stirred gently, worried that he'd woken her, and then sighed with relief when she draped her arm across his chest and started snoring gently again. Chester opened his eyes and lifted his head before laying back down to rest as well.

Rios wanted to visit Salem in prison. He wanted to talk to him, to let Salem know that even now, even after everything he had done, he hadn't been abandoned again and he was not alone. He was angry and disappointed in him and probably would never forgive him for many of the things he had done, and for a while he had decided that he never wanted to even talk to him again, but no matter how much he tried to convince himself that he did, he could not find it in him to truly hate Salem. Only three things stopped him from the visit that he so wanted to make: distance, the gunshot wound he was still recovering from, and the worry of what might happen if he got the courage to go see him. No matter how much he promised himself he wouldn't, no matter how much rehearsing of his lines that he did before he got there, Rios couldn't trust himself that the first words out of his mouth upon seeing Salem wouldn't be "Fuck you!" followed by a string of expletives and angry ranting that would no doubt get him barred from ever visiting him again. Even if he was able to maintain his composure, he couldn't be certain that Salem would be able to too. Salem was still bitter and seeing Rios right now might cause years of pent up anger and frustration to explode on him all at once.

He already knew that even if they one day forgave each other, things would never again be the same as they were before Shanghai. Salem was irreversibly damaged. He was no longer the fun, easily distracted manchild with poor common sense that Rios had known and loved for so long. He was a dangerous psychopath with severe mental trauma who would rather hold onto a grudge forever then move on and allow his mind to find peace. He grew more insane by the day due to his refusal to let anything go and his rampant paranoia that everyone was out to get him. Maybe someday things would calm down between them enough that he would be able to make a civilized visit and attempt to patch things up with him, maybe eventually Salem would let it go and accept help instead of pushing everyone who tried to get him to open up to them away, but that time was not now. He would have to wait until he was absolutely sure it was okay to do so or risk fucking everything up and starting over from day one once more. He only hoped that Salem wouldn't be too broken by then from the hell he put himself in to care.

* * *

Salem saw them abandon him. He'd been screaming for Rios to help him and struggling to unpin himself from underneath the burning scrap metal that held his legs in place, one of which he could tell was broken even though he was in too much of an adrenaline high fueled by panic to feel the pain of it at the moment because it just didn't move or feel right. He needed help then more than ever and they didn't even glance in his direction. Maybe it wasn't Rios' fault that he couldn't hear him screaming over the gunfire and general chaos outside. That didn't excuse him from not even bothering to check _before_ he declared him dead and left. Sure, Rios could use the excuse that he'd fucked up his own leg and couldn't get to him, but Alpha and Bravo were perfectly able bodied. Why hadn't Rios sent them to save him if he couldn't do it himself? Why hadn't they bothered checking themselves? Whatever happened to "no soldier left behind"? To Salem, it was as if they cared more about getting their own asses out of the heat than they cared about his own life and safety. He'd felt for the first time in his life like he was expendable to his only friend, and that was not something that made him feel good inside.

When finally he'd given up from despair, exhaustion, and dizziness that threatened to knock him unconscious and just waited to burn to death inside the hot, metal can he was trapped in, he heard the crunch of metal as the door was forced open. He was so woozy from smoke inhalation that his initial assumption was that Rios had in fact come back for him. He barely even registered the fact that he was _on fire _until someone dragged him out and roughly shoved him in the dirt to smother the flames. When he later regained consciousness, he quickly realized that it wasn't Rios that had saved him. In fact, he had no idea who any of the people who saved him even were, not at the time at least.

* * *

Outside the prison walls he was known as El Diablo, a sadistic psychopath responsible or believed responsible for many murders, kidnappings, and unexplained disappearances among other crimes, any past admirable deeds he might have done as Elliot Salem as part of TWO having long been overshadowed and forgotten by even those who had known him personally.

In his mind, Salem could only think of himself as the guy who had betrayed his best friend. Did he regret it? Not entirely. Any regret he had was repressed by just how fucking pissed off he still was at Rios for everything he had done to him. He had left him in the hands of that cartel, all for some stupid bitch they didn't even know. He had absolutely no idea what Salem had gone through in the years since they had last seen each other. Rios thought what Salem had done was bad? The things they had done to _him_ when they found him still caused him to wake up screaming from reoccurring nightmares that got so bad sometimes that the prison's doctor had to prescribe him sedatives just to help him sleep. He'd begged them to stop hurting him, he'd pleaded with them to just kill him and put him out of his misery, but the more he begged and cried, the more motivated they were to continue. The way they had saved his life by pulling him out of the burning wreckage and treating his second and third degree burns and broken leg while simultaneously torturing him both physically and psychologically confused his muddled mind even more until he had no idea if he was with friends or enemies. When he finally convinced them to give him something to dull the pain he ended up addicted to morphine, which just gave them another way to control and manipulate him.

There wasn't a moment where Bautista wasn't reminding him that the reason he was here and not in a hospital back home surrounded by loved ones was because his friends had left him to save themselves. They left him and they didn't even bother to check if he was still alive before they made that decision. He told Salem he was his friend, that he could have let him burn to death but ordered his men to save him instead when Rios hadn't out of the supposed kindness of his heart. By the time Salem was well enough again to stand on his own his mind was so broken from the months of agonizing pain and psychological torture that he had endured that he didn't know if he could trust anyone anymore.

Bautista then pulled the whole "you owe me" bullshit for saving him, even though he hadn't asked to be saved and would have preferred it if they had let him die. He offered him a place at his side, doing all the dirty work for him that he himself didn't want to do. He would be in a position of power in La Guadaña while at the same time he would play the role of a puppet. Salem felt he had no choice but to accept. As much as he hated to admit, Bautista was right. Rios had left him. He hadn't a friend in the world to turn to for help anymore. The only option he had was the one that had just presented itself, and not taking it would potentially lead to more torture and death.

He quickly built up a reputation for himself under Bautista's rule. As long as he didn't ask questions or suddenly regain his conscience, Bautista would keep him comfortable and keep supplying him with the morphine he was hopelessly addicted to. He soon resented him even moreso than he resented Rios for turning him into what was essentially his chemical dependent lap dog. He may have become feared by all those who opposed the cartel, but Salem still knew that he was nothing more than a slave to his new boss. That might have been an intentional part of the torture. He gave Salem everything he wanted while simultaneously hammering it in that he wouldn't have any of it or even be alive if not for him. The day he'd finally kicked his drug addiction felt like a small victory symbolizing how he would gradually break the control his boss had over him and marked the start of many disturbing revenge fantasies against Bautista and Rios.

The first had eventually translated into reality. Bautista was dead now and he probably never even suspected that Salem had any pull in that. That part of the plan had fallen into place beautifully. It was Rios that was the problem. He had wanted to deal with Rios directly. He wanted him to know exactly how he felt before watching him die. That day he shot Rios, he had hoped that he would die before anyone had a chance to get back to him and save him. He'd even thrown him off the balcony, hoping that he'd land on his head or break his neck in the fall. After having learned that Rios had survived and was making a full recovery, Salem didn't quite know how to react. Should he be happy that Rios was alive so that he'd have to live with the knowledge of all of Salem's crimes? Should he be pissed off that his murder attempt had failed? Was he subconsciously relieved that his former best friend made it back home to see his family again?

* * *

Rios leaned against the back of his couch in his living room for support and stared at the pair of masks that were on display on a shelf. The one on the left was the first mask he'd ever used in combat. The letters _SSC_ were printed on it in chipped white paint, preventing him from using it again once he'd started TWO. To the right was a familiar flame patterned mask, not the first one Salem had owned, but it was still special nonetheless. Rios looked fondly at Salem's old mask and took it down off the shelf so he could examine it closer. It was covered in ugly scratches and other signs of wear and abuse as well as a fine coating of dust from neglectful cleaning. There were spots where it was apparent that Salem had attempted to touch up the damaged paint only to give up when it just got scratched again.

At some point the two had the idea to swap and wear each other's masks. It was their way of showing affection, like swapping dog tags in the military but with less chance of an identity mix-up...almost, anyway. It was funny just how much they'd become associated with their respective masks. Neither of them looked even remotely alike with completely different body types and personalities, yet while they were wearing each other's masks, people kept accidentally mixing up their names and getting them confused with one another. Even Alice had called Rios "Elliot" once or twice.

Every mask the operatives at TWO, and formerly SSC, had worn was customized to match the personality and personal interests of whoever wore it, often to the point where you could tell whose mask you were holding even if you'd never even seen it before, and as such each was as unique as a fingerprint. The first mask they got during their training was usually something generic and not very spectacular, but they were given the option to customize any future masks that they'd received themselves. You could usually tell who was naturally creative and who fell asleep during high school art class from the results. Salem usually liked to keep some theme of a flame pattern, rarely straying from his usual unless he had an idea for something even more badass, while Rios liked anything that made him look even more intimidating than he already was.

Salem had been surprised when he found out that Rios still had the mask long after they finally got new ones. He was even more amazed that he proudly displayed it in his living room where anyone who visited could see it and ask about it. Rios had initially, and with just a little bit of heartbreak, interpreted Salem's surprise as a confession that he personally hadn't retained the mask he'd received from his friend. Imagine his surprise when he stopped by Salem's apartment while he was asleep and found it lying on the bed next to him. He was sure there was a good reason why it was there (possibly along the lines of "My floor/closet/table were all full" considering his place was about as clean as the city landfill), but he still thought it was cute that Salem was sleeping with it so close nearby. Part of him liked to think that he slept with it every night like a security blanket, though Salem denied it.

Rios had debated removing the mask from the shelf and throwing it in one of the boxes in the attic that contained several other personal belongings that he'd collected from Salem's apartment after being convinced of his death. He ultimately decided to leave it there because even though it was a painful reminder, he liked seeing it there whenever he walked by. Now he was debating removing it again, but he was still just as conflicted about the decision as he was years ago.

He dusted the mask off with his shirt while he wondered what to do with it. Put it in the attic? Toss it? Why was this one decision like Sophie's choice to him? Salem was a horrible person who destroyed him emotionally and had tried to kill him. Samantha had told him to remove the mask from the shelf after learning about Salem's betrayal thanks to the news, but he wasn't so sure he himself was ready to let go just yet. Fortunately he had lied about how he'd gotten shot and claimed that it was just some random cartel member taking pot shots, otherwise she would have already thrown the mask and everything of Salem's that was in the attic out before he even got out of the hospital. The final decision was up to him in the end.

Clutching the mask in hand, he made his final decision and stuck it back on the shelf, where it would forever remain- where it belonged. He didn't give a flying fuck in space if Samantha had anything to say about it.

* * *

This was not how his plan was supposed to have gone. If it had succeeded, Alpha and Bravo would both have been dealt with one way or another (he'd tried to get them on his side at one point after being genuinely impressed by how quickly they tore through his best soldiers, but they'd made it perfectly clear in the end that they weren't interested in his offer), Rios would know exactly how he felt when he'd been abandoned and betrayed for dead by his closest friend, and the cartel would have been his to rule, not as a dragon to someone else, but as the warlord in charge. If it had failed, Alpha and Bravo were supposed to have executed him on the spot, a preferred fate than the one he knew awaited him if he lived. A life in prison was not supposed to have been an option. He had joined the Army out of desperation to avoid it before, what was he supposed to do now?

Salem had not an ounce of the fear and respect that he'd had as El Diablo inside the prison. In La Guadaña he was the last thing you never wanted to see, his name and reputation were the subject of horror stories that spread like wildfire throughout the streets of Mexico, but here he was just another psychopath in a cage surrounded by more psychopaths in cages. Word of his short temper and many berserk buttons led to the inmates making a game out of trying to piss him off by mocking him and constantly reminding him of crimes he didn't do or had done and would have liked to forget about.

He was getting tired of inmates threatening him for his part in the cartel as his notoriety spread through the cell blocks. A man who had stabbed his wife to death in a drunken rage right in front of their young son ironically told him to his face that he was a monster. Another who had life for murdering and cannibalizing a woman in the 90s berated him after learning of the many animals that had been tortured and killed in the dog fighting ring they'd run (which Salem had nothing to do with he might add- he was aware of the ring's existence and had witnessed a few fights when Bautista refused to let him leave the room but refused to actively participate, standing by the same stance that he'd never harm an animal that he stood by when he refused to kill that tiger in Shanghai). Literally the only compliment he'd gotten from his fellow inmates was from a sociopathic serial killer who wouldn't seem out of place in Arkham Asylum. Rios would have told him to ignore them and then taken him to do something fun to get his mind off of how angry he was, but Rios wasn't here anymore. If he really cared he would have been, but Salem hadn't received so much as a phone call since he'd been incarcerated. Well fuck him. Who needed him anyway?

He wondered why couldn't anything ever go in his favor just once? He was supposed to be running a cartel right now. He'd had his eye on La Guadaña for a long time and had long waited for the opportunity to off Bautista so he could take it over himself. He even had the support of several of Bautista's grunts who were interested in the promotion that Salem had promised them should they side their loyalties with him. He already had enough pull with the cartel's personal army that many of them looked up to him as their de facto leader long before he even began to conspire against his boss. He wasn't interested in the profits so much as he lusted after the control. Not only would he have power over the entire cartel but he would also have Mexico as well. He had become one hell of a control freak in the last few years, mostly a side effect of trying desperately to regain everything he had lost when Bautista had broken him.

He wished that Bravo hadn't spared him. He had wanted to die the moment he realized that he had failed and that his personal army had either been killed or turned tail and fled on him when they realized what they were getting into. The very condition of being alive at this point tormented him endlessly. If he had to describe Hell, it would be right here in this cell, where it was unbearably hot, boredom was a constant, the inmates considered it a rite of passage to bully him, and one of the guards, whom Salem later found out had a brother who had died of a meth overdose while working as a drug runner for La Guadaña, had it out for him and would hit him and withhold food from him when the other guards weren't looking. Salem said not a word to anyone about the abuse, not to any of the other inmates nor any of the guards, even the very few that had been kind to him, as he felt like there was no one who would listen or care and instead escaped into his mind, silently plotting revenge. Even if it all remained in his head, imagining himself coming out on top would make him feel better, at least for a little while.

His thoughts weren't always so angry. Sometimes, mainly in unguarded moments and usually late at night when he was kept awake by the PTSD induced nightmares or even just his thoughts, he'd think about calmer things to try and help him sleep. He only took the sedatives if he was physically forced to- after the shit with the morphine, he was wary of anything stronger than Tylenol- and would instead have to find his own way to calm himself down at night. Often he couldn't help but miss Rios. Mostly he thought about all the video games he'd never again get to play or how he'd probably never get to see any of his favorite movies again, but usually it managed to come back around to Rios somehow, usually through some fond memory associated with whatever he was currently thinking about like when they were the only two people in the theater watching Alien Resurrection, allowing them to freely make MST3K-style commentary throughout the whole film about how bad it was, or that time they played Silent Hill 2 for the first time and ended up staying up all night with every light in the house turned on afterwards.

Sometimes the memories were less happy and more depressing. He couldn't help but remember crying into Rios' shoulder right after he'd been informed that his mother died or waking up in the hospital with a bullet wound in his gut and Rios freaking out, apologizing and begging for forgiveness. He had no idea what had happened then, the last memory he could recall being a firefight in Shanghai, and assumed that that explained the bullet wound. He deliriously kept asking where Alice was and what had happened, though he was so high on painkillers and the anesthesia from surgery that he couldn't make any sense of anything he'd been told until later. Eventually he'd pieced together that Rios had shot him in the interest of saving millions of lives. Salem almost died. He'd stopped breathing on the medevac helicopter and flatlined twice at the hospital. Learning that his best friend would actually shoot him, regardless of the reason, horrified him to no end. He told Rios he'd forgiven him, but he never actually did. It haunted him to this day.

Alice...he thought a lot about her too. Rios had told him she was dead, but his mind had snapped at the revelation and tried to protect him by convincing him that Rios was lying, she was alive and he just had to look harder to find her. He had planned to use some of the many ties the cartel had to the world around them once in control of it to track her down. It was his main priority. He was convinced that eventually he would find her. He needed to find her. He was in love with her.

He didn't know what he'd do if he even did find her. The story of a former PMC that went insane and turned on his only friend and started a reign of terror as the most feared member of a Mexican drug cartel had already blown up all over the news faster than a T-virus outbreak in a small city in the American midwest. Seems his story was a lot more interesting to the media than Bautista's or anyone else that had been involved, so he often got the central focus. She more than likely would have learned what he'd done by now. Would she be angry with him like Rios or would she side with him after learning why he did it?

He tried hard not to think about the possibility that she'd take the former choice. Of course she'd side with him. She always sided with him! Rios often didn't realize it, but he tended to be a little too rough on Salem and sometimes his words hit a little too close to home for him to handle. Alice was there to defend him in the event that had happened. When Rios had callously told him "It was just a snake," when he was upset after his pet ball python died of dehydration (after a "friend" of Rios' who had promised to look after it while he was away on a mission bailed on him, he might add), Alice had exploded on him for it. She had a few choice words for Rios when he got angry at him for botching a mission and getting the person they were supposed to be rescuing killed even though it wasn't even his fault since they'd been given faulty information. He was certain that once she realized what Rios had put him through, Alice would understand perfectly and side with him once again over this matter. She would, wouldn't she? Right?

_Right._

It was usually about then that he realized he had started crying. It was hard not to notice when someone from one of the other cells screamed "¡Cállate!" at him after getting woken up in the middle of the night by his sobbing. Charming people they were.

* * *

Alpha stayed up late into the morning hours. He had too much on his mind to sleep and he was kind of lonely. Whenever he was running a mission, even if he was currently being shot at by a million angry terrorists, trying to escape from a burning helicopter, or stranded in the middle of Bumblefuck County, Nowhere, he at least had comfort in knowing that Bravo was there with him to keep him company and affectionately insult everything he said or did. True, he'd claimed many times to have had a girlfriend back home that he could talk to. The key word there was _had_. He hadn't counted on coming back to find an empty house and a note from her on his table saying she didn't feel like waiting up for him for days at a time never knowing when he might be back anymore. Even more painful was a friend of hers coming over to get a few things his girlfriend had left behind so she didn't have to face him herself and admitting to him that he was better off without her because she had been cheating while he was away. He'd also been informed that she'd dumped both their dogs, which he'd had since they were puppies, at the pound shortly after taking them with her because her new boyfriend was allergic. Now he was alone with a lot on his mind and no one to talk to about it.

He suddenly noticed a notification pop-up in the corner of his laptop screen that Bravo had just signed onto Skype. He opened the program and stared at the IM box, trying to think of something to say, like "I can't sleep. What about you?" or "How are you doing? Everything okay on your end?" Eventually he ended up posting the word, _"Hi."_ How outstandingly profound.

A minute passed before he got a response. _"S'up."_

Alpha had spoken to Bravo many times before without a problem, but he felt like a little kid with a crush trying to talk to a girl just now. He chalked it up to nerves and shell shock as a result of their adventures through the devil's cartel. He also just now realized that he rarely spoke to Bravo outside of work and that this was the first time they'd spoken on Skype despite having been on each other's contact list for about two years.

He received another response from Bravo before he even had a chance to make one of his own. _"You talk to Rios recently?"_

"_No. Why? Should I be worried?"_ He knew the answer was a resounding "Yes stupid, you should probably be worried considering what his best friend's done," and felt stupid for even asking.

"_I don't know. Maybe. He didn't seem himself when I last heard from him. I think he's worried about Salem."_

Alpha stared at the text in front of him for a long while before he answered. _"What makes you think that?"_

"_He wouldn't stop talking about how much he misses him."_

"_I hope he doesn't try to go see him. That would end badly,"_ Alpha typed back. Rios might have had high hopes for Salem making a recovery in prison, but Alpha just didn't see it being possible. What he'd seen in Mexico wasn't Salem, but a shadow of his former mentor instead. Salem was long gone.

"_I don't think he will. Not yet anyway." _It was quiet on both ends, he wasn't sure how long exactly aside from the fact that it was at least long enough for a nine-minute Metallica instrumental to start and finish on Alpha's Pandora station. He hoped Bravo didn't leave due to the silence. Even though he had no idea what to say, he didn't want to go back to having no one to talk to again. Another response came back, reassuring him that he wasn't alone just yet. _"Even after everything he did to him, Rios still loves him. I wish I had a friend like that."_

This time Alpha knew exactly how to reply. _"You already do."_

* * *

_Years spent holding onto anger and hatred  
The feeling that things will never change  
It eats you up inside  
Thinking that no one could ever understand all the pain that you hide  
Your burdens serve to hold you down_

_~Killswitch Engage- All We Have_

_(Because it happened to come up on my playlist right as I was finishing up writing Salem's half of the story and I noticed how fitting the song was)_


End file.
